Hilarious Confucius Quotes
“Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!”
“Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.”
“A butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.”
“Man who give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach will abdicate.”
“Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.”
“Man who shoot off mouth must expect to lose face.”
“Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.”
“If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.”
“Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!”
“Blind man who pees on electric fence will see the light.”
“Man who make mistake in elevator wrong on many levels.”
“When dentist say ‘open wide’, does he mean mouth or wallet?”
“Man who keep both feet firmly planted on ground have trouble putting on pants.”
“Cross-eyed teacher cannot control pupils.”
“He who laughs last did not get the joke.”
“Man who tied to chair bound to agree.”
“Chinese couple who have white baby, name it Sum Ting Wong.”
“He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!”
“He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.”
“Man who live in glass house should change in basement.”
“Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy.”
“Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!”
“Man with no legs bums around.”
“Give a man some fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of the day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”
Confucius Says Jokes
Confucius says man who walk in front of car gets tired, man who walk behind car get exhausted.
Who not crap for many days must deal with backlog
Man who leap off cliff, jump to conclusion.
Man with five penises have pants that fit like glove.
Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
Man who sneeze without tissue takes matter in own hand.
Squirrel who runs up lady leg will not find nuts.
“Man who laugh last, probably not get joke. -Confucius.”
“Man who live in glass house should get changed in basement. -Confucius.”
“Constipated man not give a crap. -Confucius.”
“Woman who put man in dog house soon find him in cat house. -Confucius.”
“Man who pee against wind going to get his own back. -Confucius.”
“Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. -Confucius.”
“Man with hole in both pockets not feel too cocky. -Confucius.”
“Man who pee through screen door is straining himself. -Confucius.”
“Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger. -Confucius.”
“Man who make mistake in elevator wrong on many levels. -Confucius.”
