“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. Woody Allen

“I’m a God-fearing man, go to church every Sunday, and have since I was a boy. But if I ever found out that God cared one way or another about a borderline illegal fistfight on Saturday night, I would be so greatly disappointed that it would make me rethink my entire belief system. Chael Sonnen

“Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath. Lyndon B. Johnson

“Doing Saturday Night Live affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that, so they give me my space at the show. Adam Sandler

“I loved ‘Saturday Night Fever’ when I was a kid. I couldn’t believe people talked that way. It was just a whole new culture I didn’t understand. I snuck into it. It was an R-rated film. So it holds a special place. Brad Pitt

“I enjoy Saturday night racing. Dale Earnhardt

“I did everything when I started. In Miami I did news, I did weather, I did sports, I did disk-jockeying. And I did a sports talk show every week – every Saturday night. Larry King

“I’m not the girl that sits at home on a Saturday night plaiting her girlfriend’s hair, drinking tea and watching romantic comedies. Ricki-Lee Coulter

“When I was 8 years old, I watched ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and I always wanted to be on there and be an entertainer. Dolph Ziggler

“When I started on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards. Tina Fey

“I come from Beverley in East Yorkshire, and no one there would step outside their front door, or even their back door, on a Saturday night – or any other time, for that matter – unless they were dressed to the nines. Anna Maxwell Martin

“When Rock was on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ that’s what propelled him into the mainstream and made everyone realize, ‘Holy crap, this guy is really talented.’ Randy Orton

“I’d love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on ‘Saturday Night Live’ and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with ‘Lost in Translation’ and ‘Rushmore.’ I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great. Will Ferrell

“The first two years I was on ‘MADtv’ were really, really fun. We always thought it was ‘Saturday Night Live’s very nice, slightly asthmatic, shorter cousin. Ike Barinholtz

“We were big Saturday Night Live and Eddie Murphy fans. Illeana Douglas

“Saturday night is your big night. Everybody used to fry up fish and have one hell of a time. Find me playing till sunrise for 50 cents and a sandwich. And be glad of it. And they really liked the low-down blues. Muddy Waters

“Songs don’t have to be about going out on Saturday night and having a good rink-up and driving home and crashing cars. A lot of what I’ve done is about alienation… about where you fit in society. David Bowie

“I love these sort of documentaries, which you might turn on late on a Saturday night – like, say, ‘The Alma Cogan Story.’ But they are ripe for spoofing, because the presenters are always so serious and anxious to make themselves look like rather attractive and interesting people. Peter Capaldi

“My typical Saturday night is a great solo dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. I like to talk to the restaurant staff while I eat, then come home, finish up some work until midnight, and then play the keyboard until I’m ready to sleep. Kendrick Sampson

“The most nerve-wracking experience is an oral presentation in class. And right under that would be doing ‘Saturday Night Live’ or ‘David Letterman.’ One of those shows. Rivers Cuomo

“And I watch ‘Saturday Night Live’ religiously, I have since I was a little boy. I watch it basically like one of my favorite sports teams. Ty Burrell Normally

“Saturday Night Live’ is about as entertaining as an ocular migraine. Greg Gutfeld

“The first glimpse I had of what Mario Batali’s friends had described to me as the ‘myth of Mario’ was on a cold Saturday night in January 2002, when I invited him to a birthday dinner. Bill Buford

“We have a show very early on called ‘Slap Bang’ on a Saturday night and it didn’t work. It started off peak time and started getting earlier and earlier in the schedule. I think that that taught us you have to adapt. Ant McPartlin

“Who are taking to the witch burning Saturday night? Stan Freberg

“You know you’re getting older when – well, first off, when you read almost any story that begins ‘You know you’re getting older when.’ But you also know it when you not only never heard of the musical guest on a given ‘Saturday Night Live’ but never heard of the host, either. Tom Shales

“I never felt that I was a leading-man type in high school. I was always the goofy guy who was getting attention from girls who could make them laugh by doing impersonations of, like, ‘Saturday Night Live’ sketches… I was more James Stewart than James Bond. James Marsden

“I love meat and vegetables. If I did a diet, I would do Paleo, except they have no cheese, which is very upsetting. I’m going to start my own Chrissy diet that’s like Paleo plus cheese. Plus late Saturday night drive-through. Chrissy Teigen

“Before I had children, everything about my life was devoted to Saturday Night Live. Maya Rudolph

“I started on ‘Saturday Night Live’ the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn’t get a guest – which was often back then since he was just starting out – he would just call me down to be a guest. Norm MacDonald

“I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing ‘Saturday Night Live’ and could only wonder if I would ever have the chance to be funny. It took me five years to go up the two stories, but it is such a sense of fulfillment to be able to show what I can do on national television. Dana Carvey

“I have found that people who really want to work at ‘Saturday Night Live’ and pursue it get pretty close. You have to be funny – but everyone who works there, it was their dream to work there. So it’s kind of nice in that way – there’s a lot of people who say, ‘I just always wanted to do this, and now I’m doing it.’ John Mulaney

“I grew up in rural Missouri about two hours north of St. Louis, and if the wind was blowing right on a Saturday night, I could catch All Star Wrestling out of Kansas City, which Bob Geigel ran, and some of the stars there were Bulldog Bob Brower and Ray Candy. Kane

“I was meant to date the captain of the football team, I was going to be on a romantic excursion every Saturday night, I was destined to be collecting corsages from every boy in town before prom, accepting such floral offerings like competing sacrifices to a Delphic goddess. Elizabeth Wurtzel

“One week before my 17th birthday, I had a blind date with June Rose, a television actress on network soap operas, a model, and a regular on the popular Dick Clark’s Saturday night ‘American Bandstand’ show from New York. We were married five years later, one week after my graduation from Columbia. Robert C. Merton

“If you can survive ‘Saturday Night Live,’ then you’re good as far as show business is concerned. Tracy Morgan

“Nihilism in American comedy came along way before ‘The Simpsons.’ There was a fairly nihilistic point of view to ‘Saturday Night Live,’ for instance, back in the beginning, and a lot of really dark comedy had a really anti-sentimental take on life. Matt Groening

“During ‘Saturday Night Fever’ at the end of the first act dance number I tried to perform a split-jump, only I can’t do them so I ended up on my ass followed by the most unsightly backward roll out of it, followed by the cast falling over in laughter and a good portion of the audience too. Adam Garcia

Read Also: Inspiring Saturday Quotes

“Satire is what closes on Saturday night. George S. Kaufman

“I don’t miss ‘Saturday Night Live.’ I feel less of a need for the fulfillment that performance used to give… I don’t have to do everything right away. As long as I can walk and jump, I’ll still perform, but I no longer feel such a compulsion. Gilda Radner

“You know, if you look all my stuff… If you go back to ‘Saturday Night Live,’ my stuff always has music, even a bunch of my comedy stuff – like in ‘Shrek,’ the donkey is always singing. Music is always there. Eddie Murphy

“I don’t know what your childhood was like, but we didn’t have much money. We’d go to a movie on a Saturday night, then on Wednesday night my parents would walk us over to the library. It was such a big deal, to go in and get my own book. Robert Redford

“I’d love to go out on a Saturday night with my friends and watch a movie, but that happens really like once a year or a couple of times. Lydia Ko

“I’d like to do ‘Saturday Night Live.’ Willard Scott

“Muslims do drink, as anyone who has spent a wild weekend with Saudi booze tourists in Bahrain will know. Those Saudi tourists are like teenage girls in Manchester on a Saturday night. But each country and region is different. Lawrence Osborne

“My humor is a lot like Kristen Wiig’s from ‘Saturday Night Live’ or ‘Bridesmaids.’ Quirky, off the beaten path. Nicole Ari Parker

“Who made me laugh when I was growing was Chaplin and the Marx Brothers, and then moving on, there were so many that I was a writer for for many years: I was a writer for the Smothers Brothers, Lily Tomlin, then I started on ‘Saturday Night Live’ as the head writer the first year we started it. Chevy Chase

“I think, for sure, ‘Saturday Night Fever’ and ‘Pulp Fiction’ were kind of bookends for – or the pillars of – my career. John Travolta

“If you see me on Friday, you’ll see different material on Saturday night. Kathy Griffin

“I left ‘Saturday Night Live’ without a film to go to, and I’d filmed ‘Old School’ while I was in my last season of the show, and that hadn’t come out yet. I was a free agent, in a way, but I knew it was time to leave the show and test the water. Will Ferrell

“We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day – and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw. Brian Clough

“But I would lie on the floor and analyze everything. I’d listen to all the strings and the background vocals on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and try to pick out the different instruments. Kevin Richardson

“I’ve had four fantastic years on ‘Strictly Come Dancing,’ but for us it’s about moving forward and the end goal is to present a shiny-floored Saturday night TV show that we all love, for example, ‘Strictly,’ ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ – those sort of shows. A. J. Pritchard

“‘Saturday Night Live’ was actually started with a show that Lorne Michaels and I did at a summer camp called Timberlane in Ontario when we were 14 and 15. We would do an improvisational show with music, comedy and acting. Howard Shore

“You know, you grow up with the image of John Travolta being super cool – ‘Saturday Night Fever,’ Brian De Palma, handsome young god… he, in reality, is a very silly man. And I mean that in a good way. He’ll walk around the set talking in little weird voices, making people laugh. Eric Stoltz

“I enjoy getting to work on ‘Saturday Night Live’, where I get to do people like David Paterson. And then, its like a different muscle to do someone like a bicycle guy on’ Portlandia’. Fred Armisen

“I didn’t always have 14,000 people wanting to hang out with me on a Saturday night. Taylor Swift

“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. Ogden Nash

“There have been, like, three auditions in my life where I feel like I’m in a ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit. Chris Pine

“On ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I never really wrote. You know, I would just – I would let the writers cast me into the show. So my strength – and I put all my energies into performance. I just couldn’t deal with the rejection, you know, getting your sketches cut, and it was hard for me. Tracy Morgan

“Saturday Night Live’ has always been, you know, non-partisan – whoever’s in power should probably be challenged. Lorne Michaels

“I do miss Saturday Night Live, that’s for sure. There’s nothing like it. I just hosted, and I felt I’d only been away for a week. Mike Myers

Read Also: Friday Night Wishes

“I’ve always had a very dry sense of humor, and I’ve pretty much grown up on Will Ferrell, first on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ then ‘Old School’ and ‘Wedding Crashers.’ Blake Griffin

“I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, ‘I’ll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.’ Tina Fey

“By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live. Sarah Silverman

“Saturday night is when my hair would be fixed up and that was my memory. Jenifer Lewis

“We had to decide: Do we want to do Saturday Night or go to our Senior Prom? We opted for Saturday Night Live. Mary-Kate Olsen

“Where do these arms come from, these Saturday night specials that constitute the instrument of threats in bank robberies, or the hand grenades used by terrorists? How can their sales and their import be permitted? Alva Myrdal

“I remember lying on the floor of the living room with headphones on when I was four or five years old, listening to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. Kevin Richardson

“Saturday Night Live is hitting me on a regular basis again. This is my fourth decade that I’ve been lampooned on Saturday Night Live. Geraldo Rivera

“I think ‘Saturday Night Live’, starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner. Emma Stone

“It turns out that all Netflix streaming peak on Saturday night can fit inside a single fiber optic, which is the size of one human hair. Reed Hastings

“People are out of their home on a Saturday night or they’re at the movies or they’re at dinner and a lot of the people who flip on the television are doing just that. They may have never seen your show before and you can’t count on to your audience to be there week in and week out. David E. Kelley

“We’ll serve, on a good Saturday night six or seven thousand people in all the restaurants, and it’s like, the percentages are that maybe one person’s not going to like what they get. And I can’t be there to fix it. I hate that. We’re in this business to make things that please people. Todd English

“It was a terrible blow that was dealt when I was fired from ‘Saturday Night Live’, but I have to say that a few doors opened right away. Movie roles started to roll in, and pretty soon, I was over it. Joan Cusack

“I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets… then I got to ‘Saturday Night Live’ where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I’m going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I’m gonna go sit with. Jimmy Fallon

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